Broomsticks. Your gang-rapey pants.
(click ad) "Ring around Rosie." Here's how you play: Invite Rosie over to play Twister with all your permanent press pants-wearing pals. Then tell her you're playing strip Poker instead, 'cept you don't have any playing cards, so why don't you just take off your clothes and we'll take turns sticking our twitching broomsticks in you? (image via). For previous sexist retro ads, go here, here, and here.