Monday, May 19, 2008

Bush would have all his speech writers working on this.

(click ad for closer look)

"I'M GLAD I USE DIAL
IT MADE MY PENIS GROW.

CHICKS DIG THE SMELL
THEY CAN'T SAY NO.

IT REMOVES AGE SPOTS
AND CURES SKIN CANCER.
FOR ALL OF LIFE'S PROBLEMS
DIAL IS THE ANSWER."


Give me my fucking oil well, Dial. OK, I know you all can do better. Please write your jingles in the comments. (
ad from a 1954 McCall's, via) previous copyranter copywriting: new taglines for Zombie Strippers; my beano® jingle; the first ad campaign I ever did; my first ever celebrity ad; an ill-advised headline for a bank; BFI waste services ad catches the attention of the NYC mob.

8 Comments:

Anonymous zach said...

I'm glad I use dial
if i didn't it'd be a sin
anyone pussy who uses Dove lets the terrorists win.
so be an american, not a freedom hater,
because not using dial would be like voting for nader.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

5.
5 dollar.
5 dollar foot-long.

Oops, some other genius already wrote that masterpiece.

1:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In my butt I like to rub Dial
It helps relieve my itching piles
I also stick it in my wife's mouth
To stop the filth that keeps coming out
And by "filth" I mean my cum
'Cause she can never swallow some
But after it drips upon the sheets
Dial's always there to clean my meat.

2:17 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

That's too long anon. You're disqualified.

2:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's what she said.

2:23 PM  
Blogger Tracer Bullet said...

So I don't leave streak marks in my drawls

I use Dial to wash my ass and balls.

11:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good ditty, but a question:

Your balls cause streak marks?

10:57 AM  
Blogger Angela said...

Sleek as radar is my nubbin
After Dial's been a rubbin'
Takes the dirt off of my snatch
After Pitt's been in there, natch.
Also kills Muslims, Chinese and rats
Dial is sexier than LOLcats.

Peace,

Angela

11:52 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home