Thursday, April 03, 2008

Let's write some new taglines for "Zombie Strippers"

(click image for closer look)
So Jenna Jameson (previously seen in pleather and on the bottom of skateboards), apparently done with having her ass fucked for a living, slides into her first(?) post-porn movie role as a living-dead pole dancer. IMDb has the breathtaking plot summary. We, however, can do better than "They'll Dance For A Fee. But Devour You For Free" right? Here's my five minutes. Give me your taglines in the comments.
—The Night Of Living Dead Head.
—First They Strip Their Clothes Off...
Then They Rip Your Heads Off.

—They're The Appetizer. You're The Meal.
—There Will Be Blood. And Titties.
(image via)

44 Comments:

Anonymous Emon said...

"Zombie Strippers" is the best tagline. Anyway...since I'm here already :)


Do you feel lucky tonight?

Eat, drink, and be eaten.

Customer is always right...and tasty.

Guess who's coming as dinner?



Alrighty....back to work.

9:26 AM  
Blogger Emil said...

Never trust a stripper who doesn't like poles.

Bloody. Gorgeous.

9:28 AM  
Blogger Emil said...

one more!

- Temptations of the flesh

9:44 AM  
Anonymous felix said...

The best parts of that IMDB entry are that it is "Written by Anonymous" and that the the plot synopsis is "This plot synopsis is empty." Unsurprising!

9:50 AM  
Blogger Neil said...

Also of note, that's Tito Ortiz, UFC superstar and Jameson's boyfriend in the background.

10:12 AM  
Anonymous Pol Pot Pie said...

Brain-Deadier.

Brain Sucker.
(someone else try to work the slang term for testicles-brains-in better than this please)

What do you want– I'm the one who draws the pretty pictures.

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Bone Strippers

They're the show - You're the buffet

Dawn and Chasity of the Dead

10:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Zombie Strippers: They're coming to get you.

11:01 AM  
Anonymous AskACopywriter said...

-Giving head and taking brains.

11:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow your so tender do you Marinade?

11:56 AM  
Blogger Two Thousand Words said...

They're dead. You're fucked.

Now on the main stage ... Death.

They're hot, undead and coked up.

$20 for a drink is suddenly the least of your worries.

They're hungry and they don't want the lunch buffet.

There will be blood in the champaign room.

12:50 PM  
Blogger Nate said...

Zombie Strippers: it's redundant

12:56 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

"They're Dead. You're Fucked" winner so far.

I also liked "Dawn and Chasity of the Dead."although it should be "Chastity" and I would've preferred Tiffany.

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude I am in engineering, I don't know how to spell.

1:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH and I think They're Dead. You're fucked. is the best so far. I may have laughed out loud at that one.

1:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They put the Pain in Champaign Room

1:31 PM  
Blogger Iagos said...

Booze, Boobies and Blood. The Last Lapdance.

Dancing With Zombies

Slashdance. She's more than a maniac.

1:31 PM  
Blogger santos. said...

Their dead shake brings all the boys to the yard
They can eat you but they'd have to charge

1:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about "Bad To The Boner"?

1:43 PM  
Anonymous Pol Pot Pie said...

They'll Lick Your Brain.

2:00 PM  
Anonymous Pol Pot Pie said...

Strippers, Now with More Brains!

2:02 PM  
Blogger Lenn Sakatas Media Assassin said...

Undead Can Dance

2:16 PM  
Blogger Niteowl said...

They'll strip you to the bone.

Undressed and undead.

Dead sexy.

They give a killer show.

They know how to give head. And take it.

The last show you'll ever see.

Tender, sweet. You're just their taste.

3:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok, to play on my own earlier anon post (they're coming to get you) howzabout this:

You're coming, they'll get you.

-or-

They will cream bloody murder.

3:38 PM  
Anonymous joel said...

A pole dance to die for.

They'll blow your mind... and suck your brains

Low self-esteem, big appetite

3:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If "They put the Pain in Champaign Room",
it must be:
"While smoking a Havana in Urbana"

4:37 PM  
Blogger Iagos said...

The only head you'll be getting is your own!

4:52 PM  
Blogger Iagos said...

Invasion de los boobies zombies atómicos!

I am tired I should go home.

@ anon
I can hear that movie voice guy saying, "They will cream bloody murder".

Luscious Lapdances and Lobotomies.

5:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Daddy used to give her a piece of his mind now she want s some of yours.

really really trying too hard.

5:03 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

They love a man with brains.

28 Lays Later.

Dead Sexy.

Putting themselves through med school one corpse at at time.

5:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

night of the giving head

6:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Daddy used to give her a piece of his mind now she wants some of yours."

That is wonderful. So twisted.

7:38 PM  
Anonymous The Word Wrangler said...

You can tip them in blood.

sorry, that's all I got.

10:32 PM  
Blogger Make the logo bigger said...

Right field. Bleachers. (Yeah, I’m calling my shot.)

I’m digging “They love a man with brains” but I’m gonna borrow from a real life headline just like a Law and Order script for...

It’s Headless Bodies in Topless Bars.


(I think that may have even left the park, not sure.)

10:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have had more fun with this. Thanks CR!

9:31 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

They have hearts of gold... until they rip out yours.

10:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Vagina and vivisection!

1:39 PM  
Blogger evan said...

You're the meat they'll eat.

That's not a hard on. It's rigor mortis.

They'll suck your second favorite organ.

What a nice way to go.

Itr's XXX inside. And X's over your eyes.

Yes, you'll still have to worry about chlamydia.

Oh God. oh God, I'm dying.

12:23 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

Fun fun! Here are a few thoughts:

"The dead walk the earth...in clear heels!"

"This time, you're the eye candy."

"These ladies take it all off...your bones."

"They Like It Raw"

1:24 PM  
Blogger Yannie said...

They're the Eyecandy, But the Braicandy Is All You!!!

More of you in her mouth than you ever dreamed of!

It will be SO worth it...

You're a better tipper than you even know...

2:21 PM  
Blogger Yannie said...

"I'm really an actress."

2:24 PM  
Blogger James said...

Sure they're zombies, but look at those cans.

5:32 PM  
Blogger John said...

YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS LAPDANCE IN HELL.

COME LAP TO LAP WITH EVIL.

THEY'LL STRIP YOU OF YOUR SOUL.

RAISE THE LIVING,
RAISE THE DEAD.

THEY'LL SCARE YOU STIFF.

HELL HATH NO COVER CHARGE.

EVIL EXPOSED.

7:47 PM  
Blogger Zinkwriter said...

Why not class up this flick with something that brings to mind a well-respected Art House film?

"Eat Drink Man Woman (child dog cat hamster whatever)"

7:57 PM  

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